About Dr. Heath Schechinger
Supporting all families and relationships through compassion and science.
I am a licensed psychologist based in California, where I provide therapy, coaching and consulting services. I also Co-Found the Modern Family Institute and serve as the Founding Co-Chair of the APA Division 44 Committee on Consensual Non-monogamy. I am also an Affiliate Faculty member at the Kinsey Institute. My work and psychotherapy investigate the essence of attraction, attachment, and healthy relationships in modern society.
I earned my B.S. in Psychology and M.Ed. in Higher Education from Iowa State University and my Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Kansas. For over a decade, I have been delving into the complexities of human connections through my research and psychotherapy, which encompass a wide range of relationship types.
My goal is to cultivate a supportive atmosphere in therapy and promote insightful discussions in the public sphere to deepen understanding, nurture intimacy, and foster thriving families and relationships.
As a renowned scholar and expert in the ever-evolving world of family and relationship dynamics, my work has been showcased in numerous publications such as The New York Times, BBC, and Popular Science.
Hailing from a quaint town in Iowa, I made my way to California in 2015 to pursue my internship and post-doctoral fellowship at UC-Berkeley. Prior to my career as a psychologist, I trained as a spiritual educator and pastor. My passions include traveling, connecting over our shared humanity, and posing thought-provoking questions that spark a grin. A lifelong dedication to athletics and physical well-being culminated in a gold medal victory in soccer at the 2018 Paris Gay Games. I now reside in the Bay Area, surrounded by my cherished, blended family.
Clinical
My clinical practice is built upon the foundation of cultural understanding and open-mindedness, where I join you in a collaborative journey of self-discovery, guided by compassion and evidence-based insights. Drawing from my research and advocacy experiences with diverse identities and communities, I strive to create an atmosphere where clients feel encouraged to delve into the many aspects of their unique selves, particularly those that may have been overlooked or misunderstood. As a leading expert in educating therapists on supporting clients in various types of relationships, I aim to foster an inclusive and secure environment for all who enter my office.
My training in Hakomi Mindfulness Somatic Psychotherapy also influences my approach, merging traditional talk therapy with mindfulness techniques and guided experiments in order to fuse the mind with the body to create a holistic sense of well-being. Hakomi is a form of therapy rooted in the experience of the present moment. When you recall the past, you’re doing it in a specific, present context that helps shape your understanding of the prior experience. I’ll help you get in touch with your core beliefs by slowing down and mindfully examining your somatic and cognitive reactions to formative experiences “in the present moment.” I will then help identify how you organize and create new or “missing experiences” this present moment.
I provide treatment for individual and couples/partners therapy, specializing in relationships, gender and sexuality, non-traditional communities and subcultures, as well as people who are processing infidelity.
Applied Research
From Adam and Eve to the novels of Jane Austen, western society has privileged heterosexual monogamy over all other relationships (DePaulo & Morris, 2005; Finkel, Hui, Carswell, & Larson, 2014). Even today, those with non-traditional identities and ways of being, including polyamory, are marginalized and stigmatized. This is because society at large often views ethically non-monogamous relationships as having less moral and societal worth than monogamous relationships (Conley et. al., 2013; Moors et. al., 2013), and therefore they are seen as “less worthy” of legal protections.
This is not a small population.
Research shows that roughly 66 million Americans (20 percent) have engaged in an ethically non-monogamous relationship at some point in their life and five percent of Americans are currently in one today. This is roughly 16 million Americans, about the same number of people who identify as LGBTQ+, or about twice the population of New York City.
However, you wouldn’t know it by looking at the news. That’s because those engaged in consensual non-monogamy—people who pay taxes, raise children, and care about their community—are often forced to keep their relationships and identities secret in order to avoid social, economic, and legal consequences (Nearing, 2000; Pallotta-Chiarolli, 2010). Societal stigma and discrimination prompts many of those engaging in ethical non-monogamy to keep their relationship status a secret.
Stigma and discrimination toward the non-monogamy community is real and it is harmful (Cox, Fleckenstein, & Bergstrand, 2013; Witherspoon, 2020). Despite the high prevalence of people practicing CNM, the community experiences pervasive societal stigma and discrimination in public accommodations and services such as marriage, adoption, healthcare, hospital visitation, workplace, housing, and lending.
More than half of CNM identified individuals report having experienced discrimination based on their relationship status (Witherspoon, 2021). People engaged in consensually non-monogamous relationships experience minority stress, which was positively related to psychological distress CNM parents and individuals with multiple marginalized identities are particularly at risk (Witherspoon, 2018; (Witherspoon & Theordore, 2021; Moors et al., 2021).
Therapy also isn’t necessarily a safe answer for this population. Around one in five CNM therapy clients indicated their therapist lacked the basic knowledge of CNM needed to be helpful and 10% said their therapist pushed them to end their CNM relationship (Schechinger, Moors, & Sakaluk, 2018).
I believe we can do better.
